Marriage, Relationship Help by the Books

Among the innumerable sections of “self help” books at the Library, there’s a growing selection of books about marriage and interpersonal relationships. Of course, there’s Dr. Phil McGraw’s book, “Love Smart, Find the One You Want—Fix the One You Got”. According to Dr. Phil, “Dating as you know it is simply one of the most inefficient, nonproductive, haphazard and hit-and-miss ways to try and achieve one of the most important objectives of your life.” In his book, he outlines his thoughts on how to find your life mate.

Lisa Steadman’s new book “It’s a Breakup, Not a Breakdown” offers guidance for the one who is devastated by the separation. With the author’s help, the survivor learns how to view the breakup as an opportunity to move from a relationship that was no longer working to a relationship with someone who will be there for life.

The “The Boomer’s Guide to Dating (Again)” by Laurie A. Helgoe helps the single-again person who’s lonely, but just can’t quite get back into the dating—meat market—world. The author discusses how to look for dates in the right places, how to dress, how to learn to converse in an engaging manner and, most importantly, how to leave yourself open for the possibility of new love.

Alison James’s book, “I Used to Miss Him but My Aim is Improving” is yet another “breakup survival guide”. Her advice includes, “Recognize signs that the end is near and make a pre-emptive strike,” “lose the guy, but keep the jewelry,” and “Do not give him (her) enough power over your life to turn you into a hermit.”

“Dating After 50, Negotiating the Minefields of Midlife Romance” by psychiatrist Sharon Romm helps the reader through those touchy areas of finding worthwhile dates, surviving the first meeting, deciding who pays for what, dealing with jealousy, managing the second family, working with a former spouse (yours and your new friend’s) and ending the relationship when necessary.

Other books on the topic of marriage and remarriage include: “Fat, Broke and Lonely No More, a Single Woman’s Solution to Overeating, Overspending and Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places” by Victoria Moran ; “Dating the Divorced Man, Sort Through the Baggage to Decide if He’s Right for You” by Christie Hartman; “Remarried with Children, Ten Secrets for Successful Blending and Extending Your Family” by Barbara LeBey; “Living Along a Loving It, a Guide to Relishing the Solo Life” by Barbara Feldon; and, “The Surrendered Single, a Practical Guide to Attracting and Marrying the Man Who’s Right for You” by Laura Doyle.

As new books on this topic of loneliness and dating are frequently published, check out the 646.7 area of the Library’s “New Book” section to find the latest selections.